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Jennifer & Tanicka

I love my daughter Tanicka! But I wish the world could see the destruction of clothing and furniture and the craziness that occurs in this home on a daily basis. When I adopted her from the state of MA in 2004, I predicted that no one but the most determined friends would maintain closeness with me, and thankfully, they have. I am very lucky. 

In the houses we have lived in and the clothing Tanicka has worn, these have been some of our experiences: 

1. Tanicka tears apart about 5 pieces of clothing a week. This includes inexpensive and expensive clothes, coats, shoes, jackets, boots, dresses, shirts, blouses, socks, and underwear. She rips the entire necklines and cuffs off most of her shirts and rips the hems off most of her pants. She cuts her dresses up (while she has them on in school and at home), pulls the tie strings out of hoodies and sweatpants and pulls the thread off her socks so there is nothing left but bundles of thread in the car or at her seat, wherever she happens to be sitting. She is on Focalin and Abilify already and has been seeing a developmental doctor at Children’s since she was 1 year old. 

2. We just had the house renovated here in Gloucester-expensive renovations. Since then, she has broken several lamps, left food on brand new carpets and hidden numerous places. This includes milk and other perishables that we end up smelling. Tanicka also defecates in her room in these “hiding places.” I find these hidden objects immediately, based on the smell. I have talked to her about these issues numerous times, but it is like her automatic functions take over and it is done without thinking about all these conversations.

3. When angry-which is often because she doesn’t want to go to school-she will kick in the new staircase banister, kick me in the face and everywhere else, spit on me, call me stupid, a “dufus”, idiot, moron, and to shut up (we NEVER taught those terms or ever say shut up in this household ever). She refuses to listen to anything or anyone. We have had the police here because she refused to go to school. She hid in her bedroom, door locked. The police state that she was not a danger to herself for anyone else at that time and therefore did not need to be taken into protective custody. I reminded them that she is not going to school and going to school is the way. They told me to take it up with the school. We were stuck! We also had crisis behavior management here and dealt with weekly behavior therapy as well. These problems still continue.

This discussed above is just a speck of time in her 14 years of life! So much more takes place than just what is mentioned above. It is what we live with EVERY day! 

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